Tuesday, December 31, 2002
FUCK ME! A filling fell out last night, and so today I ended up having a root canal done! Brutal. That was not what I had planned when I woke up today. So much for rippin 'er up tonight, or tomorrow. I am tawking wike a wetard.
Sunday, December 29, 2002
I'm sitting here at work, watching the clock.. tick tick.. brutal. I even came to work early today.. can you believe that? Well if you had to be alone with me today you would do anything to get away too. I wonder what the night has in store? Any guesses? 12:30 ish should be a real interesting time at our place... I hate being right.
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Employment History
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at coffee house, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO, I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
Did I mention I'm moving to Smithers?
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at coffee house, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO, I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
Did I mention I'm moving to Smithers?
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
The Night Before Christmas
====================
'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!
With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?
While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in a one-eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"
He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."
====================
'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!
With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?
While controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower."
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho..."
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to "fill it, with hundred low-lead."
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in a one-eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot's discretion"
He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Grumman, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight."
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
A guy walks into the bar carrying a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of shit in the other, and with a cat sitting on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender proceeds to pour the man a drink. With that the man throws back his drink, cocks his shotgun, blows away the bucket of shit, which scares the cat off his shoulder, and finally chases the cat out of the bar never to return.
Five days later the man returns; a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of shit in the other, and a cat upon his shoulder. He proceeds to walk up to the bar and orders himself a drink. The bartender, obviously annoyed at having to spend several hours cleaning up all the shit from the man's last visit, interrupted bitterly, "What the hell do you want?"
"I'd like a drink", responded the man.
"No way, not after your last escapade", snapped the bartender.
"But bartender, I'm in training", replied the man.
"Training! Training for what?", questioned the bartender.
"I'm training to be an airline pilot", responded the man.
"An airplane pilot?", questioned the bartender, "How do you figure?"
"Well", added the man, "I go on a trip, I do a little drinking, I shoot a little shit, I chase a little pussy, and then I take five days off!"
By the way, I'm moving to Smithers, B.C. www.flycma.com
Five days later the man returns; a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of shit in the other, and a cat upon his shoulder. He proceeds to walk up to the bar and orders himself a drink. The bartender, obviously annoyed at having to spend several hours cleaning up all the shit from the man's last visit, interrupted bitterly, "What the hell do you want?"
"I'd like a drink", responded the man.
"No way, not after your last escapade", snapped the bartender.
"But bartender, I'm in training", replied the man.
"Training! Training for what?", questioned the bartender.
"I'm training to be an airline pilot", responded the man.
"An airplane pilot?", questioned the bartender, "How do you figure?"
"Well", added the man, "I go on a trip, I do a little drinking, I shoot a little shit, I chase a little pussy, and then I take five days off!"
By the way, I'm moving to Smithers, B.C. www.flycma.com
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Yeehaw! Halifax today and tomorrow... Smithers and Vancouver on Thursday. Saskatoon friday, and back to Calgary on Saturday... The times they are a changin.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
So... I gotta tell you about this... Sorry Buddy, I know I promised I wouldn't tell...
I almost let the secret out... almost.... I was just one button shy of telling everyone.. Phew, good thing I didn't... I think you'll have to wait for about 6 months for this one... :-) (re: The BITCH!)
On another subject... HOLY FUCK is there ever a pile of shit going on right now. I'm getting stressed. Sorry I can't talk about this stuff either, maybe after next week... maybe.
And then there is the family stuff going on.... How did I get in the middle? I'm the baby, so everybody trusts me... They would never have expected the left hook they just got! Just like the song Cruel Be Kind.
Weird... usually I spill all my guts out here. Not lately... too much up in the air... Do you know that song by The Clash, Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now? That doesn't even begin to cover it. So you got to let me know.... Should I Stay Should I GO?
I almost let the secret out... almost.... I was just one button shy of telling everyone.. Phew, good thing I didn't... I think you'll have to wait for about 6 months for this one... :-) (re: The BITCH!)
On another subject... HOLY FUCK is there ever a pile of shit going on right now. I'm getting stressed. Sorry I can't talk about this stuff either, maybe after next week... maybe.
And then there is the family stuff going on.... How did I get in the middle? I'm the baby, so everybody trusts me... They would never have expected the left hook they just got! Just like the song Cruel Be Kind.
Weird... usually I spill all my guts out here. Not lately... too much up in the air... Do you know that song by The Clash, Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now? That doesn't even begin to cover it. So you got to let me know.... Should I Stay Should I GO?
Thursday, December 05, 2002
40 years in a wall (true story from the Calgary Sun 04 Dec 2002 )
MILAN (Reuters) - An Italian man who packed his bags 44 years ago and told his friends he was leaving for America was found dead inside one of the walls of his home yesterday.
Found inside a thick wall in the cellar were human remains, two packed suitcases, a trowel and other equipment to make a wall, a rusted rifle and a bottle with a suicide note.
The note, on paper heade with the name Nemo Cianelli, explained that the man had discovered he had an incurable disease and had decided to kill himself. He said he had invented the tale of going to America to avoid upsetting his family.
MILAN (Reuters) - An Italian man who packed his bags 44 years ago and told his friends he was leaving for America was found dead inside one of the walls of his home yesterday.
Found inside a thick wall in the cellar were human remains, two packed suitcases, a trowel and other equipment to make a wall, a rusted rifle and a bottle with a suicide note.
The note, on paper heade with the name Nemo Cianelli, explained that the man had discovered he had an incurable disease and had decided to kill himself. He said he had invented the tale of going to America to avoid upsetting his family.
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Ok, so I told you I passed another exam. I'll tell you it was a government exam, and it qualifies me for a different job than I have done before. So today, under the advice of my current manager, I was looking at this companys website, to see wether they were looking for anyone. They had a section where you could submit a resume, so as kind of a lark, I did! Four hours later they called me at work! ( He thought he was calling me at home, so he was pretty understanding when I told him I couldn't really speak to him right now. ) So, I'll be phoning him in the morning! But first I'll be phoning someone else first!!!!! Then if job prospect #1 doesn't go as planned, maybe job prospect #2 will.
It never rains in the desert, it pours.
It never rains in the desert, it pours.
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
I PASSED! I PASSED! I PASSED! I PASSED! I PASSED! I'm not telling what, some of you know already. ;-)
Sunday, November 24, 2002
I fucking hate studying weather. Anone want to pull my toenails out instead?
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Anyone who wants the MP3's for these songs, drop me an email and I'll send them to ya.....
Puddle of Mud
She Hates Me
Met a girl
Thought she was grand
Fell in love
Found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued
In a trap
Trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd
be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
She was queen for
about an hour
After that,
shit got sour
She took all
I ever had
No sign of guilt
No feeling of bad, no
In a trap
Trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd
be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
That's my story
As you see
Learned my lesson
And so did she
Now it's over
And I'm glad
Cuz I'm a fool
for all I said
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
La la la la la la la la la love
trust
La la la la la la la la la love
trust
La la la la la la la la la love
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
She fuckin' hates me
I never got any action anyway
She Hates Me
Met a girl
Thought she was grand
Fell in love
Found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued
In a trap
Trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd
be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
She was queen for
about an hour
After that,
shit got sour
She took all
I ever had
No sign of guilt
No feeling of bad, no
In a trap
Trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd
be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
That's my story
As you see
Learned my lesson
And so did she
Now it's over
And I'm glad
Cuz I'm a fool
for all I said
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
La la la la la la la la la love
trust
La la la la la la la la la love
trust
La la la la la la la la la love
And she tore my
feelings like I had none
She fuckin' hates me
I never got any action anyway
Eagles
After The Thrill Is Gone
Same dances in the same old shoes
Some habits that you just can't lose
There's no telling what a man might lose,
After the thrill is gone
The flame rises but it soon descends
Empty pages and a frozen pen
You're not quite lovers and you're not quite friends
After the thrill is gone, oh,
After the thrill is gone
What can you do when your dreams come true
And it's not quite like you planned?
What have you done to be losing the one
You held it so tight in your hand well
Time passes and you must move on,
Half the distance takes you twice as long
So you keep on singing for the sake of the song
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone
You're afraid you might fall out of fashion
And you're feeling cold and small
Any kind of love without passion
That ain't no kind of lovin' at all, well
Same dances in the same old shoes
You get too careful with the steps you choose
you don't care about winning but you don't want to lose
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone, oh
After the thrill is gone
After The Thrill Is Gone
Same dances in the same old shoes
Some habits that you just can't lose
There's no telling what a man might lose,
After the thrill is gone
The flame rises but it soon descends
Empty pages and a frozen pen
You're not quite lovers and you're not quite friends
After the thrill is gone, oh,
After the thrill is gone
What can you do when your dreams come true
And it's not quite like you planned?
What have you done to be losing the one
You held it so tight in your hand well
Time passes and you must move on,
Half the distance takes you twice as long
So you keep on singing for the sake of the song
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone
You're afraid you might fall out of fashion
And you're feeling cold and small
Any kind of love without passion
That ain't no kind of lovin' at all, well
Same dances in the same old shoes
You get too careful with the steps you choose
you don't care about winning but you don't want to lose
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone
After the thrill is gone, oh
After the thrill is gone
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
A man went to a whorehouse to get some practice performing oral sex on his wife. The woman at the front desk gave him a key and told him to go to room 319.
The man walked into the room and met the lady of the evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few pointers and then told him to go for it.
So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found a piece of carrot.
"Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea.
"Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and gave it one more shot.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer.
"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!"
"That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did."
The man walked into the room and met the lady of the evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few pointers and then told him to go for it.
So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found a piece of carrot.
"Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea.
"Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and gave it one more shot.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer.
"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!"
"That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did."
A man went to a whorehouse to get some practice performing oral sex on his wife. The woman at the front desk gave him a key and told him to go to room 319.
The man walked into the room and met the lady of the evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few pointers and then told him to go for it.
So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found a piece of carrot.
"Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea.
"Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and gave it one more shot.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer.
"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!"
"That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did."
The man walked into the room and met the lady of the evening. He told her why he was there, so she gave him a few pointers and then told him to go for it.
So, the man began performing oral sex and he was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. A couple of minutes into the deed, he felt something in his mouth. He spit it into his hand and found a piece of carrot.
"Oh man, that's nasty!" he thought, but he said nothing and continued.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a pea.
"Damn, can't take much more of this. There's something wrong with this bitch." But again, he said nothing and gave it one more shot.
A couple of minutes later, he came up with a piece of chicken. He couldn't stand it any longer.
"I can't do this anymore! I'm gonna throw up!"
"That's funny," remarked the hooker, "that's what the last guy did."
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Hello I am a west sider,
I am not a 7-11 employee, a pump jockey or a Berry Farm picker.
I don't live on 22nd in the big yellow house with the big XXX on the side though I am a member.
I don't know Suzie, Tony or Cliff, but I have probably run into them at Dublins I believe in 24 hour bingo halls, not like that Hoyty-toyty Xanadu
We don't have the Granary, Lydia's or Amigo's, we have Bridges, the Black Sambuca and Riddlers'.
20th street is a cultural mecca whose diversity is only outdone by the amount of business at its KFC .
I think that Kelsey is a noble institution because it is beside an armory with a really big kick ass tank in front of it.
The mullet is an art form carefully forged under the hockey helmets of Saskatchewan youth, but perfected in the Jiffy-lube.
The Money mart cash advance is much more fiscally responsible than the "3 bucks on a Hund" and all ball caps should contain some mesh.
Cross walks are for 8th street and Yes, it is less confusing when all the streets are named after the letters of the alphabet, well 24 of them anyways.
There are tracks but I don't think I am on the wrong side.
There is nothing quite like the waft from the meat packing plant on an early spring morning.
The great triumvirate will always be Riley's, Showgirls and the Long branch.
There is no limit to the number of bars that can open and close in the Warehouse and Great Canadian Super Bar buildings.
The Great Buffet of China has the best garbage bins in Saskatoon.
And no we can't figure out either why they moved Martini's to the old Husky Diner on Idylwyld and 22nd.
The Westside is the last thing you see before you move to Calgary, the home to the Saskatoon Transit Garage and the First Nation.
I AM A WEST SIDER.
I am not a 7-11 employee, a pump jockey or a Berry Farm picker.
I don't live on 22nd in the big yellow house with the big XXX on the side though I am a member.
I don't know Suzie, Tony or Cliff, but I have probably run into them at Dublins I believe in 24 hour bingo halls, not like that Hoyty-toyty Xanadu
We don't have the Granary, Lydia's or Amigo's, we have Bridges, the Black Sambuca and Riddlers'.
20th street is a cultural mecca whose diversity is only outdone by the amount of business at its KFC .
I think that Kelsey is a noble institution because it is beside an armory with a really big kick ass tank in front of it.
The mullet is an art form carefully forged under the hockey helmets of Saskatchewan youth, but perfected in the Jiffy-lube.
The Money mart cash advance is much more fiscally responsible than the "3 bucks on a Hund" and all ball caps should contain some mesh.
Cross walks are for 8th street and Yes, it is less confusing when all the streets are named after the letters of the alphabet, well 24 of them anyways.
There are tracks but I don't think I am on the wrong side.
There is nothing quite like the waft from the meat packing plant on an early spring morning.
The great triumvirate will always be Riley's, Showgirls and the Long branch.
There is no limit to the number of bars that can open and close in the Warehouse and Great Canadian Super Bar buildings.
The Great Buffet of China has the best garbage bins in Saskatoon.
And no we can't figure out either why they moved Martini's to the old Husky Diner on Idylwyld and 22nd.
The Westside is the last thing you see before you move to Calgary, the home to the Saskatoon Transit Garage and the First Nation.
I AM A WEST SIDER.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
Episode II Attack of the Clones on the IMAX today. Yoda ROCKS!
Friday, November 08, 2002
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I was so sure I failed, until the nice lady came up front and said "Congratulations!" I almost peed my pants! I only passed by 5%, but what the hell, I passed! Now comes the hard frustrating part again.. Hitting the road job hunting....
Wow, it's been a really long time since I've written anything here! I just got home from work, it is 00:48, I'm tired. Tomorrow at noon I am writing an exam. The IATRA exam. Hopefully, it will go OK. I'm hitting the sack very soon, right after I take a sleepy pill! Gnite!
Monday, October 28, 2002
CANADIAN COMEBACKS!!!!!!!!!
1.. The light bulb was developed by Henry Woodword, a Canadian in 1874, then he sold the patent to Thomas Edison.
2.. If the American looks consipracy/militia minded (and most of them are), try this one: Canadians are the ones who led the way in
high-altitude, super sophisticated MACH2 interceptors, such as the AVRO ARROW which the USA wanted so badly that they did everything possible to stop us from producing them. They failed.
3.. Most modern navy in the world. I'm not kidding.
4.. You tried to invade us once. Once.
5.. CANADA won the War of 1812, not the USA. Why? I believe that if a country can get into a nation's capital by killing the country's army off and burn down the White House, then they have basically won the war.
6.. If I'm not mistaken, Canada has burnt down the White House . .. not once, but twice! Only country to do so.
7.. Nuclear meltdowns. We haven't had one. Yet we make plenty of CANDU reactors! ( The safest in the world !) Nuclear crisis? None of those either.
8.. You test your missiles on us, and we don't complain!
9.. Quick, name a country that has dropped atomic bombs on real, live people! (hint: it rhymes with Bunited Strates of Bamerica.
10.. We are the leaders in telephone technology.
11.. Canadian diplomats smuggled a bunch of American hostages out of the Middle East. I don't know why we bothered, but we did. Your welcome!
12.. Canadian spies have completed some astounding missions, from stealing Japanese codes from embassies during WWII, to the capture of a Nazi enigma machine.
13.. In the early 1900's, when alcohol was still illegal in the USA, Canadians risked their lives to smuggle beer and other alcoholic
substances down to America.
14.. "Eh" sounds a lot better than "huh", eh?
15.. We know how, and when to use the word, "eh".
16.. At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!
17.. Canadian flag? We don't have to change it every time we add a province.
18.. We have never flown another country's national flag upside down before. (1992 World Series ring a bell?)
19.. Our cities don't shut down because of a bit of wimpy frost.
20.. Canada has more clean water than any other nation.
21.. At least our inner cities are still habitable.
22.. We have the world's longest bridge.
23.. We have the world's longest street.
24.. We have the world's tallest totem pole.
25.. Canada is ranked the NUMBER ONE nation in the world by the UN eight years in a row.
26.. Superman, blindly stolen by the USA for their own propoganda purposes.
27.. No one here likes 90210. there will never be a show named M5W 1L6.
28.. Japanese tourists just love Anne of Green Gables.
29.. Much Music kicks MTV's ***.
30.. X-Files was filmed in Vancouver.
31.. Mike Myers is not only Austin Powers, but he is Dr. Evil and Fat Bastard as well.
32.. Celine Dion performed at the 1996 Atlanta Olympic opening ceremonies. Where was American, Gloria Estefan? Oh, right, I remember now. She was sitting in a corner, pouting because her country decided to pick a Canadian singer to sing in THEIR Olympic Games instead of her.
33.. We kicked your ass in the 100m and in the 150m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh?
34.. When was the last time the USA won an international curling match?
35.. We've got better hockey players than you do.
36.. Two words for you: Wayne Gretzky.
37.. The 98-99 All-Star Game as well as the 99-00 North American team had an all-Canadian starting line-up, voted in by the fans, I might add. So, um, whatever happened to the so-called "American takeover" of Canada's game?
38.. We invented basketball.
39.. We invented hockey.
40.. We invented lacrosse.
41.. We invented 5-pin bowling.
42.. We were the first to play modern football.
43.. Socialized health care, so there!
44.. I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.
45.. Canada introduced peace-keeping to the world.
46.. We discovered the effects of insulin on diabetes.
47.. Let's put it this way: 3 Coors = 1 Canadian beer.
48.. We may have an accent, but at least I've never spelled "thru", "nite", "glo" or "EZ" quite like you do.
49.. Largest unguarded border in the world? Hey buddy, we're sharing it with you.
50.. The river in my city? I can swim in it.
51.. We invented the telephone - maybe you've heard of it.
52.. I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.
1.. The light bulb was developed by Henry Woodword, a Canadian in 1874, then he sold the patent to Thomas Edison.
2.. If the American looks consipracy/militia minded (and most of them are), try this one: Canadians are the ones who led the way in
high-altitude, super sophisticated MACH2 interceptors, such as the AVRO ARROW which the USA wanted so badly that they did everything possible to stop us from producing them. They failed.
3.. Most modern navy in the world. I'm not kidding.
4.. You tried to invade us once. Once.
5.. CANADA won the War of 1812, not the USA. Why? I believe that if a country can get into a nation's capital by killing the country's army off and burn down the White House, then they have basically won the war.
6.. If I'm not mistaken, Canada has burnt down the White House . .. not once, but twice! Only country to do so.
7.. Nuclear meltdowns. We haven't had one. Yet we make plenty of CANDU reactors! ( The safest in the world !) Nuclear crisis? None of those either.
8.. You test your missiles on us, and we don't complain!
9.. Quick, name a country that has dropped atomic bombs on real, live people! (hint: it rhymes with Bunited Strates of Bamerica.
10.. We are the leaders in telephone technology.
11.. Canadian diplomats smuggled a bunch of American hostages out of the Middle East. I don't know why we bothered, but we did. Your welcome!
12.. Canadian spies have completed some astounding missions, from stealing Japanese codes from embassies during WWII, to the capture of a Nazi enigma machine.
13.. In the early 1900's, when alcohol was still illegal in the USA, Canadians risked their lives to smuggle beer and other alcoholic
substances down to America.
14.. "Eh" sounds a lot better than "huh", eh?
15.. We know how, and when to use the word, "eh".
16.. At least we have a legitimate claim to be interested in the Royal Family!
17.. Canadian flag? We don't have to change it every time we add a province.
18.. We have never flown another country's national flag upside down before. (1992 World Series ring a bell?)
19.. Our cities don't shut down because of a bit of wimpy frost.
20.. Canada has more clean water than any other nation.
21.. At least our inner cities are still habitable.
22.. We have the world's longest bridge.
23.. We have the world's longest street.
24.. We have the world's tallest totem pole.
25.. Canada is ranked the NUMBER ONE nation in the world by the UN eight years in a row.
26.. Superman, blindly stolen by the USA for their own propoganda purposes.
27.. No one here likes 90210. there will never be a show named M5W 1L6.
28.. Japanese tourists just love Anne of Green Gables.
29.. Much Music kicks MTV's ***.
30.. X-Files was filmed in Vancouver.
31.. Mike Myers is not only Austin Powers, but he is Dr. Evil and Fat Bastard as well.
32.. Celine Dion performed at the 1996 Atlanta Olympic opening ceremonies. Where was American, Gloria Estefan? Oh, right, I remember now. She was sitting in a corner, pouting because her country decided to pick a Canadian singer to sing in THEIR Olympic Games instead of her.
33.. We kicked your ass in the 100m and in the 150m. Ohh baby, it hurts to be this good, eh?
34.. When was the last time the USA won an international curling match?
35.. We've got better hockey players than you do.
36.. Two words for you: Wayne Gretzky.
37.. The 98-99 All-Star Game as well as the 99-00 North American team had an all-Canadian starting line-up, voted in by the fans, I might add. So, um, whatever happened to the so-called "American takeover" of Canada's game?
38.. We invented basketball.
39.. We invented hockey.
40.. We invented lacrosse.
41.. We invented 5-pin bowling.
42.. We were the first to play modern football.
43.. Socialized health care, so there!
44.. I've never had to go through a metal detector at school.
45.. Canada introduced peace-keeping to the world.
46.. We discovered the effects of insulin on diabetes.
47.. Let's put it this way: 3 Coors = 1 Canadian beer.
48.. We may have an accent, but at least I've never spelled "thru", "nite", "glo" or "EZ" quite like you do.
49.. Largest unguarded border in the world? Hey buddy, we're sharing it with you.
50.. The river in my city? I can swim in it.
51.. We invented the telephone - maybe you've heard of it.
52.. I'm not afraid to walk down the street at night.
Sunday, October 27, 2002
'Delay' condom proves popular
LONDON, England -- A condom that contains an anaesthetic to prolong lovemaking has smashed all sales records, its manufacturers say.
Durex has sold 18,000 Performa condoms via the Internet in the past three months -- outselling other types the company sells online by a margin of five to one.
Each condom contains a small amount of lubricant cream inside the tip, which disperses with body heat.
The cream contains Benzocaine, a mild anaesthetic that de-sensitises the tip of the penis, so sex can last longer.
The Perfoma is currently only sold on the Internet but the company is aiming to make it available in shops in the UK by Christmas.
Amanda Tucker, Durex UK marketing manager, said: "If interest through the Internet is any guide then this will change the way people think about condoms."
LONDON, England -- A condom that contains an anaesthetic to prolong lovemaking has smashed all sales records, its manufacturers say.
Durex has sold 18,000 Performa condoms via the Internet in the past three months -- outselling other types the company sells online by a margin of five to one.
Each condom contains a small amount of lubricant cream inside the tip, which disperses with body heat.
The cream contains Benzocaine, a mild anaesthetic that de-sensitises the tip of the penis, so sex can last longer.
The Perfoma is currently only sold on the Internet but the company is aiming to make it available in shops in the UK by Christmas.
Amanda Tucker, Durex UK marketing manager, said: "If interest through the Internet is any guide then this will change the way people think about condoms."
Sunday, October 20, 2002
Do you like brown or orange food?
Dispelling a great myth about the colour and flavour of beer.
Don Tse: "Do you prefer light or dark beer?" is the response I often receive when I ask for a list of available beers at a restaurant or pub. A combination of politeness and impatience prevents me from beginning a diatribe as to why this is a meaningless question, and instead I ask for the complete list.
Asking whether a person prefers light or dark beer is like asking whether a person prefers brown or orange food. The colour of a beer or an item of food has no relationship to its flavour, body, texture or aroma. In fact, the colour of a beer is indicative of nothing - other than colour, of course.
Beer derives its colour from three sources: the grains used to brew the beer, other flavour ingredients (fruits or spices, for example) and artificial colour additives. In fact, the dark beers offered by certain brewers are exactly the same as their golden counterparts, with brown food colouring added.
Flavour, on the other hand, while affected by many of the same factors that impact colour, is determined by many, many additional factors. Without downplaying the importance of each of these factors, one of the largest determinants of a beer's flavour that has absolutely no impact on the beer's colour is the yeast used to ferment the beer.
For a little fun, try this experiment. Go down to your favorite beer retailer and purchase a bottle of Brew Brothers Black Pilsner ( a Canadian-brewed German-style Schwarzbier ) and a bottle of Delirium Tremens ( a Belgian golden ale. ) Both are complex flavorful award-winning beers, and good representatives of their respective styles.
Dispelling a great myth about the colour and flavour of beer.
Don Tse: "Do you prefer light or dark beer?" is the response I often receive when I ask for a list of available beers at a restaurant or pub. A combination of politeness and impatience prevents me from beginning a diatribe as to why this is a meaningless question, and instead I ask for the complete list.
Asking whether a person prefers light or dark beer is like asking whether a person prefers brown or orange food. The colour of a beer or an item of food has no relationship to its flavour, body, texture or aroma. In fact, the colour of a beer is indicative of nothing - other than colour, of course.
Beer derives its colour from three sources: the grains used to brew the beer, other flavour ingredients (fruits or spices, for example) and artificial colour additives. In fact, the dark beers offered by certain brewers are exactly the same as their golden counterparts, with brown food colouring added.
Flavour, on the other hand, while affected by many of the same factors that impact colour, is determined by many, many additional factors. Without downplaying the importance of each of these factors, one of the largest determinants of a beer's flavour that has absolutely no impact on the beer's colour is the yeast used to ferment the beer.
For a little fun, try this experiment. Go down to your favorite beer retailer and purchase a bottle of Brew Brothers Black Pilsner ( a Canadian-brewed German-style Schwarzbier ) and a bottle of Delirium Tremens ( a Belgian golden ale. ) Both are complex flavorful award-winning beers, and good representatives of their respective styles.
Try the Black Pilsner first, as its much lighter body and delicate and soft flavours will be washed out if you sample the very full-bodied, sharp, alcoholic and slightly fusel flavours of Delirium Tremens first. Despite what most people expect upon mere visual inspection of these beers, Black Pilsner is less heavy and rich, while Delirium Tremens is more viscous and sharp.
Black Pilsner gets its dark colour in part, from the use of a small amount of a type of barley called black patent malt is very dark, which is the result of roasting at a very high temperature, and the use of even a small amount of it adds a substantial amount of colour to the final beer. However, the use of soft brewing water and delicate noble hops and the fermentation of the beer by a pilsner yeast results in very soft and subtle flavours. Had Brew Brothers used the exact same recipe, but fermented the beer using an ale yeast, the colour would be identical, but the flavours would be amplified, fruitier and less clean.
On the other hand, Delirium Tremens is brewed almost exclusively with pale malt, which is very light on colour because it is dried at a low temperature. A large amount of pale malt us used, along with additional brewing sugars to increase the alcohol content. The absence of any dark grains in the brewing results in its light colour, but the high alcohol content, the large amount of hops added to provide adequate balance, and the fermentation of the beer by a special Belgian ale yeast combine to create the harsh, full-bodied flavors.
So next time you're in a restaurant, you'll know not to order a dark beer and some brown food.
Used without permission from Vol 7 No 45, FFWD, Calgary's News and Entertainment Weekly. http://www.greatwest.ca/ffwd/Intro/index.html
Black Pilsner gets its dark colour in part, from the use of a small amount of a type of barley called black patent malt is very dark, which is the result of roasting at a very high temperature, and the use of even a small amount of it adds a substantial amount of colour to the final beer. However, the use of soft brewing water and delicate noble hops and the fermentation of the beer by a pilsner yeast results in very soft and subtle flavours. Had Brew Brothers used the exact same recipe, but fermented the beer using an ale yeast, the colour would be identical, but the flavours would be amplified, fruitier and less clean.
On the other hand, Delirium Tremens is brewed almost exclusively with pale malt, which is very light on colour because it is dried at a low temperature. A large amount of pale malt us used, along with additional brewing sugars to increase the alcohol content. The absence of any dark grains in the brewing results in its light colour, but the high alcohol content, the large amount of hops added to provide adequate balance, and the fermentation of the beer by a special Belgian ale yeast combine to create the harsh, full-bodied flavors.
So next time you're in a restaurant, you'll know not to order a dark beer and some brown food.
Used without permission from Vol 7 No 45, FFWD, Calgary's News and Entertainment Weekly. http://www.greatwest.ca/ffwd/Intro/index.html
Saturday, October 19, 2002
I'm going to start a new sport... Marathon City Bagging... I left Calgary at 12:30 this morning, as in 0030. I went to Toronto. It is 10:30 now, and I'm home and I've been back in Calgary for an hour! Nine hours, YYC - YYZ - YYC. Not quite as grueling as the my Hong Kong, trip last month, but pretty retarted all the same.
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
STAR WARS TOP TEN SEXUALLY SLANTED LINES
10. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
9. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
8. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
7. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
6. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
10. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
9. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
8. "But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
7. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up.
Like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
RETURN OF THE JEDI
13. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did?
He never expressed any unhappiness with my work." (C3PO)
12. "Hey point that thing someplace else." (Han)
11. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me
master. (Emperor)
10. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?" (Leia)
9. "I never knew I had it in me." (C3PO)
8. "Someone must've told them about my little manoeuver at the battle of
Tanaab." (Lando)
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it." (Luke)
6. "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hut, you'd
probably short circuit." (C3PO)
5. "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.
(Jarjerrod) with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
(Darth)
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping-- hold on. Grab it, almost.. you almost got
it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie. Chewie!" (Han)
with "A little higher, just a little higher." (Lando)
3. "Short help's better than no help at all." (Han)
2. "Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me-- now I owe you one." (Han)
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!" (Han)
10. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
9. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
8. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
7. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
6. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
10. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
9. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
8. "But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
7. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up.
Like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
RETURN OF THE JEDI
13. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did?
He never expressed any unhappiness with my work." (C3PO)
12. "Hey point that thing someplace else." (Han)
11. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me
master. (Emperor)
10. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?" (Leia)
9. "I never knew I had it in me." (C3PO)
8. "Someone must've told them about my little manoeuver at the battle of
Tanaab." (Lando)
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it." (Luke)
6. "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hut, you'd
probably short circuit." (C3PO)
5. "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.
(Jarjerrod) with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
(Darth)
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping-- hold on. Grab it, almost.. you almost got
it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie. Chewie!" (Han)
with "A little higher, just a little higher." (Lando)
3. "Short help's better than no help at all." (Han)
2. "Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me-- now I owe you one." (Han)
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!" (Han)
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
Pickin' up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream
I wonder how the old folks are tonight
Her name was Ann and I'll be damned if I recall her face
She left me not knowin' what to do
Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Turnin' back the pages to the times I love best
I wonder if she'll ever do the same
Now the thing that I call livin' is just bein' satisfied
With knowin' I got no one left to blame
Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Searchin' through the fragments of my dream-shattered sleep
I wonder if the years have closed her mind
I guess it must be wanderlust or tryin' to get free
From the good old faithful feelin' we once knew
Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
SYLLABICATION: wan·der·lust
NOUN: A very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.
ETYMOLOGY: German : wandern, to wander (from Middle High German) + Lust, desire (from Middle High German, from Old High German; see las- in Appendix I).
I wonder how the old folks are tonight
Her name was Ann and I'll be damned if I recall her face
She left me not knowin' what to do
Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Turnin' back the pages to the times I love best
I wonder if she'll ever do the same
Now the thing that I call livin' is just bein' satisfied
With knowin' I got no one left to blame
Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Searchin' through the fragments of my dream-shattered sleep
I wonder if the years have closed her mind
I guess it must be wanderlust or tryin' to get free
From the good old faithful feelin' we once knew
Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
SYLLABICATION: wan·der·lust
NOUN: A very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.
ETYMOLOGY: German : wandern, to wander (from Middle High German) + Lust, desire (from Middle High German, from Old High German; see las- in Appendix I).
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
I think I've posted this before, but I'll do it again. Keep in mind, I like hearing from friends. The people that send the "You are my friend" type emails, are cool. As much as I like getting a forwarded email that I know wasn't written by the person I got it from, if you want to let me know you are my friend just drop me a note and say "Hey!". I'm a guy, I don't need any more than that to know who my friends are. Peace. ( ATTN: Apple Dumpling Gang, I liked your last email, this wasnt' directed at you! )
THE BEST CHAIN LETTER EVER WRITTEN:
Hello, my name is Joe and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that
was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends", and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
genitals.
Have a nice day.
THE BEST CHAIN LETTER EVER WRITTEN:
Hello, my name is Joe and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that
was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends", and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
genitals.
Have a nice day.
It's been a week since my last confession. I would confess my sins, but what if I don't believe in sinning? Imagine there's no heaven, It's easy if you try, No hell below us, Above us only sky, Imagine all the people living for today... Imagine there's no countries, It isnt hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, No religion too, Imagine all the people living life in peace... Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all the people Sharing all the world... You may say Im a dreamer, but Im not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And the world will live as one.
It's still relavent today don't you think. I've been mad most of the time lately. I'm not sure why. I think I'm starting to wrinkle my face because of it. That just made it worse.
It's still relavent today don't you think. I've been mad most of the time lately. I'm not sure why. I think I'm starting to wrinkle my face because of it. That just made it worse.
Monday, September 23, 2002
Well, I almost deleted a link from my links page. (something I've never done, I figure once it is there, it should stay until it goes dead) Why did I "alsmost" delete it? Because, it's 10 minutes to 4am, I'm tired and grumpy. This particular website, is run by two friends. Whom managed to neglect a fairly major part of their "History". Namely ME! Why should I do either them of the favor by advertising for them? I don't know. Cause they are friends. Maybe they just left me out, for appearances sake. After all, I left them, maybe they are pissed at me? Besides, they'll never read this anyway. I think that is enough whining for today.
EDITED TO COVER MY ASS.... I hope you got to read it before I removed it...
EDITED TO COVER MY ASS.... I hope you got to read it before I removed it...
Thursday, September 19, 2002
I just downloaded a great program. Ad-Aware by Lavasoft. It searched my entire computer and found a bunch of different "spyware" programs. After it helped me remove them, and a couple of reboots, my computer is running great again. There were at least 4 spyware programs running all the time! Talk about a waste of my time!
Ad-Aware by Lavasoft
Just be carefull what you clean, don't clean something you might want to keep!
Ad-Aware by Lavasoft
Just be carefull what you clean, don't clean something you might want to keep!
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
How the hell did a Canadian band, Steppenwolf, and their hit song Born To Be Wild, become such a favorite song amongst american rednecks?
Hello FBI / CIA internet sniffers..
George ( dubbleya ) Bush, mind your own fucking business!
Hello FBI / CIA internet sniffers..
George ( dubbleya ) Bush, mind your own fucking business!
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
Monday, September 16, 2002
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
I must be retarted. I went to bed last night at 3am, and got up an hour ago at 630 am, and now I don't feel like sleeping. The worst part of all the traveling is now, since I've been on the go so much, I can't figure out where I belong. Home doesn't feel right. Saskatoon, didn't feel right. Maybe I should just get drunk, that would feel right.
Since the 22nd of Aug, I've done a ton of flying. My quick calculation, I figure I've flown 31050 miles since then! That translates to about 60 hours in the air. It also means that I flew enough to encircle the globe 1 and a quarter times! ( The earth's circumfrence s 24,889 miles ) ( So far this year, I figure I've flown about 65000 miles which is 2.6 times around the globe ) ( I also have discovered, that my previous yearly best was estimated way to high. Or the method of calculation I am using this time is low. )
Of the 31050, 15303 was all in one day! ( That is over 1/2 way around the globe in 1 day! )
I'm tired.
Here was my routing... YYC - YXE - YVR - HKG - YVR - YEG - YYC - YQR - YYC - YXE - YYC - YVR - HKG - YVR - YXE - YYC !
I am home now, and don't plan to go anywhere for at least 2 weeks!
Cara and Andrew, did you find my letter yet? ( I wouldn't ask, but I am pretty sure you'll be mad at me when you do, so I've been expecting an email, but havn't gotten it! )
Of the 31050, 15303 was all in one day! ( That is over 1/2 way around the globe in 1 day! )
I'm tired.
Here was my routing... YYC - YXE - YVR - HKG - YVR - YEG - YYC - YQR - YYC - YXE - YYC - YVR - HKG - YVR - YXE - YYC !
I am home now, and don't plan to go anywhere for at least 2 weeks!
Cara and Andrew, did you find my letter yet? ( I wouldn't ask, but I am pretty sure you'll be mad at me when you do, so I've been expecting an email, but havn't gotten it! )
Friday, September 06, 2002
Holy cow it's been a long time since I've written... Since my last long day, I spent another day flying, I went from Calgary, to Vancouver, to pick up Debbie. That was fun. Our aircraft was broken, so we took a different aircraft. It was only about an hour delay, big whoop. Once in Saskatoon, I wen't to Mom and Dads to visit for a while, then I went back to the airport to pick up Cara and Andrew to take them to Calgary.
It was very cool having them in Calgary, we did some cool stuff, some cold stuff, and some other stuff. We spent Saturday night in Banff, camping. Andrew had never slept in a tent or been camping before, he handled it all very well, in typical Andrew style! ( always smiling )
The next couple of days were back in Calgary, enjoying the cool, autumnish weather.
Wed, we left Calgary for Vancouver, where Cara and Andrew went to visit family. I went swimming at Randy's. Then I drove Randy to work, and took his car. I had full intentions of doing a bit of shopping, but I went straight to Randy's, and fell asleep until it was time to pick him up. What a looser I am.
I met up with Cara and Andrew at the airport, so we could continue our trip to Hong Kong. They must have been tired, because they both slept a bunch on the way. ( I slept for about 9 hours.. pretty good )
So... it was this morning when we arrived in Hong Kong. I crashed for a couple of hours, then we went for Yum Cha with Andrews parents. It is soo cool, we go to the same restaraunt, and sit at the same table every time! I feel like a regular! We spent the afternoon in Mong Kok, buying stuff for everyones phones.. Sorry Curtis, no blue chrome. Sorry Kathy, no chrome. Sorry Kyle no dragons.
On the bus on the way home, the guy sitting accross from me, was wearing a huge watch. After I got up some courage, I said to him, "You must be a pilot.".... of course he was, only pilots wear watches that big. He seemed very nice, but we didn't get to talk much. Oh well.. it would have just depressed me more anyway. It was 2 years ago today, that I finished my commercial liscense. And here I am... 2 years later, no job. Cara tried to cheer me up, but I asked her to change the subject. I hope I wasn't rude.
It was very cool having them in Calgary, we did some cool stuff, some cold stuff, and some other stuff. We spent Saturday night in Banff, camping. Andrew had never slept in a tent or been camping before, he handled it all very well, in typical Andrew style! ( always smiling )
The next couple of days were back in Calgary, enjoying the cool, autumnish weather.
Wed, we left Calgary for Vancouver, where Cara and Andrew went to visit family. I went swimming at Randy's. Then I drove Randy to work, and took his car. I had full intentions of doing a bit of shopping, but I went straight to Randy's, and fell asleep until it was time to pick him up. What a looser I am.
I met up with Cara and Andrew at the airport, so we could continue our trip to Hong Kong. They must have been tired, because they both slept a bunch on the way. ( I slept for about 9 hours.. pretty good )
So... it was this morning when we arrived in Hong Kong. I crashed for a couple of hours, then we went for Yum Cha with Andrews parents. It is soo cool, we go to the same restaraunt, and sit at the same table every time! I feel like a regular! We spent the afternoon in Mong Kok, buying stuff for everyones phones.. Sorry Curtis, no blue chrome. Sorry Kathy, no chrome. Sorry Kyle no dragons.
On the bus on the way home, the guy sitting accross from me, was wearing a huge watch. After I got up some courage, I said to him, "You must be a pilot.".... of course he was, only pilots wear watches that big. He seemed very nice, but we didn't get to talk much. Oh well.. it would have just depressed me more anyway. It was 2 years ago today, that I finished my commercial liscense. And here I am... 2 years later, no job. Cara tried to cheer me up, but I asked her to change the subject. I hope I wasn't rude.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
My Day
starting early in the am of 22nd aug (times in brackets are Calgary time) times not in brackets are my current time zone.
(0015, 22nd Aug) finish work
(0045, 22nd Aug) wash clothes, eat, clean the kitchen
(0300, 22nd Aug) finally sleep
(0619, 22nd Aug) wake, iron clothes, pack, drive to hospital to pick up Kathy arrive at
(0710, 22nd Aug) nap until Kathy arrives at
(0750, 22nd Aug) go for breakfast
(0900, 22nd Aug) arrive at airport in Calgary
(0945, 22nd Aug) depart YYC ( 5 min early! )
(1040, 22nd Aug) arrive YXE (10 min early! ) Visit briefly with friends at airport.
(1100, 22nd Aug) Greg picks me up, we go for coffee, he's buying! (too bad he didn't bring any money)
(1230, 22nd Aug) Greg drops me off at Mom & Dads
(1300, 22nd Aug) sleep
(1630, 22nd Aug) wake,shower etc
(1730, 22nd Aug) Dale, Debbie, Kyle & Chad arrive for supper.
(1935, 22nd Aug) leave for airport ( quick stop to get sleepy pills )
(2000, 22nd Aug) check in with Debbie for our trip to Vancouver. Visit again with friends at airport. Mostly Jason, he's got big news....
(2040, 22nd Aug) Depart YXE ( 10 min early ) have 1 beer on plane. Debbie bought!
(2230, 22nd Aug) 2130 ( Vancouver time now ) arrive YVR ( 20 early )
after much hilarity Debbie arranges her ride to pick her up. We head for the pick up point.
(2300, 22nd Aug) 2200 Randy is at pick up point. Say Bye's to Debbie, a bit uneasy about leaving her behind. As we drive away, Debbies ride arrives. All is well. Driving to Randys, I notice the full moon. Beautiful.
(2330, 22nd Aug) 2230 Randy's place
(2345, 22nd Aug) 2245 pub. Kilkenny, crab & spinach dip.
starting early in the am of 22nd aug (times in brackets are Calgary time) times not in brackets are my current time zone.
(0015, 22nd Aug) finish work
(0045, 22nd Aug) wash clothes, eat, clean the kitchen
(0300, 22nd Aug) finally sleep
(0619, 22nd Aug) wake, iron clothes, pack, drive to hospital to pick up Kathy arrive at
(0710, 22nd Aug) nap until Kathy arrives at
(0750, 22nd Aug) go for breakfast
(0900, 22nd Aug) arrive at airport in Calgary
(0945, 22nd Aug) depart YYC ( 5 min early! )
(1040, 22nd Aug) arrive YXE (10 min early! ) Visit briefly with friends at airport.
(1100, 22nd Aug) Greg picks me up, we go for coffee, he's buying! (too bad he didn't bring any money)
(1230, 22nd Aug) Greg drops me off at Mom & Dads
(1300, 22nd Aug) sleep
(1630, 22nd Aug) wake,shower etc
(1730, 22nd Aug) Dale, Debbie, Kyle & Chad arrive for supper.
(1935, 22nd Aug) leave for airport ( quick stop to get sleepy pills )
(2000, 22nd Aug) check in with Debbie for our trip to Vancouver. Visit again with friends at airport. Mostly Jason, he's got big news....
(2040, 22nd Aug) Depart YXE ( 10 min early ) have 1 beer on plane. Debbie bought!
(2230, 22nd Aug) 2130 ( Vancouver time now ) arrive YVR ( 20 early )
after much hilarity Debbie arranges her ride to pick her up. We head for the pick up point.
(2300, 22nd Aug) 2200 Randy is at pick up point. Say Bye's to Debbie, a bit uneasy about leaving her behind. As we drive away, Debbies ride arrives. All is well. Driving to Randys, I notice the full moon. Beautiful.
(2330, 22nd Aug) 2230 Randy's place
(2345, 22nd Aug) 2245 pub. Kilkenny, crab & spinach dip.
(0105, 23 Aug) 0005 arrive airport to wait for seat. Randy and I wander around looking at the sluts sleeping on the floor.
(0145, 23 Aug) 0045 get my seat. 4D! Business class! Yeehaw! Say Bye's to Randy. Run for plane. Call Kathy on the run.
(0210, 23 Aug) 0110 very comfortable, depart YVR
Relax, get comfy, have excellent supper, decide to nap. The last thing I remember is seeing 11:45 remaining in flight. Wake 3:10 remaining, pee, sleep. Wake 1:55 remaining. Breakfast. I can see the full moon out the window. Land at
(1515, 23 Aug) 0515, 24 Aug ( 30 min early ) ( HKG time now ) hustle off the plane to discover, the train to the termial dont run until 0600.
(1530, 23 Aug) 0530 start walking.... Breeze thru customs catch the
(1601, 23 Aug) 0556 train to Tung Chung see the moon again, I wonder if it missed me.
(1601, 23 Aug) 0601 arrive in Tung Chung to see the Discovery Bay bus leave. Take some pics. Look for washroom. No luck.
(1630, 23 Aug) 0630 bus to Discovery Bay. start writing
(1645, 23 Aug) 0645 arrive Discovery Bay. Take a pic. Keep writing.
(1703, 23 Aug) 0703 start walking to Cara & Andrews. Getting hungry.
(1716, 23 Aug) 0716 find Cara & Whiskey. Hang out. Shower.
(1900, 23 Aug) 0900 depart Cara & Andrews to go to
(1930, 23 Aug) 0930 Tung Chung for
(1935, 23 Aug) 0935 Dim Sum (Breakfast)
(2027, 23 Aug) 1027 waiting for bus to airport.
(2045, 23 Aug) 1045 back at HKG
(2130, 23 Aug) 1130 waiting for seat
(2220, 23 Aug) 1220 since the flight was weight critical, we are told to run for the gate, maybe we'll get seats there...
(2240, 23 Aug) 1240 get to gate, get seats. It's all good.
(2250, 23 Aug) 1250 push back. Clunking noises from below.
(2255, 23 Aug) 1255 ."Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking... Sorry for the delay. We're just waiting for maintenance to come and look at a small problem. We'll keep you updated..." I go so far as to put my shoes back on because I am sure we are broken...
(2305, 23 Aug) 1305 all is well, I'll be sleeping soon.
6 hour nap...
(0145, 23 Aug) 0045 get my seat. 4D! Business class! Yeehaw! Say Bye's to Randy. Run for plane. Call Kathy on the run.
(0210, 23 Aug) 0110 very comfortable, depart YVR
Relax, get comfy, have excellent supper, decide to nap. The last thing I remember is seeing 11:45 remaining in flight. Wake 3:10 remaining, pee, sleep. Wake 1:55 remaining. Breakfast. I can see the full moon out the window. Land at
(1515, 23 Aug) 0515, 24 Aug ( 30 min early ) ( HKG time now ) hustle off the plane to discover, the train to the termial dont run until 0600.
(1530, 23 Aug) 0530 start walking.... Breeze thru customs catch the
(1601, 23 Aug) 0556 train to Tung Chung see the moon again, I wonder if it missed me.
(1601, 23 Aug) 0601 arrive in Tung Chung to see the Discovery Bay bus leave. Take some pics. Look for washroom. No luck.
(1630, 23 Aug) 0630 bus to Discovery Bay. start writing
(1645, 23 Aug) 0645 arrive Discovery Bay. Take a pic. Keep writing.
(1703, 23 Aug) 0703 start walking to Cara & Andrews. Getting hungry.
(1716, 23 Aug) 0716 find Cara & Whiskey. Hang out. Shower.
(1900, 23 Aug) 0900 depart Cara & Andrews to go to
(1930, 23 Aug) 0930 Tung Chung for
(1935, 23 Aug) 0935 Dim Sum (Breakfast)
(2027, 23 Aug) 1027 waiting for bus to airport.
(2045, 23 Aug) 1045 back at HKG
(2130, 23 Aug) 1130 waiting for seat
(2220, 23 Aug) 1220 since the flight was weight critical, we are told to run for the gate, maybe we'll get seats there...
(2240, 23 Aug) 1240 get to gate, get seats. It's all good.
(2250, 23 Aug) 1250 push back. Clunking noises from below.
(2255, 23 Aug) 1255 ."Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking... Sorry for the delay. We're just waiting for maintenance to come and look at a small problem. We'll keep you updated..." I go so far as to put my shoes back on because I am sure we are broken...
(2305, 23 Aug) 1305 all is well, I'll be sleeping soon.
6 hour nap...
(1050, 24 Aug) 0950 ( Vancouver time ) arrive in YVR. Still hear clunking noises, but all is well. Clear customs. Get checked in for a
(1215, 24 Aug) 11:15 flight to Calgary
(1225, 24 Aug) 11:25 bumped
(1230, 24 Aug) 11:30 run for Edmonton flight
(1235, 24 Aug) 11:35 sitting in business class on our way to Edmonton.
(1355, 24 Aug) Edmonton. Sit here for a while, until..
(1700, 24 Aug) edmonton to regina via calgary
(1830, 24 Aug) depart calgary. Very tired. Trying not to show it.
(2015, 24 Aug) land & say very quick bye's to Cara and Andrew. Quick hello to Cara's mom
(2020, 24 Aug) got a seat back to Calgary. Alone again.
(2025, 24 Aug) back row 2 pillows 1 blanket...
No sleep.. I notice the moon on final approach into Calgary. Mr Moon has been my companion the entire trip.
(2205, 24 Aug) on the ground in YYC
(2225, 24 Aug) picked up by Kathy
(2303, 24 Aug) home. Its been 64 hours since I left home... was that ever cool!
(1215, 24 Aug) 11:15 flight to Calgary
(1225, 24 Aug) 11:25 bumped
(1230, 24 Aug) 11:30 run for Edmonton flight
(1235, 24 Aug) 11:35 sitting in business class on our way to Edmonton.
(1355, 24 Aug) Edmonton. Sit here for a while, until..
(1700, 24 Aug) edmonton to regina via calgary
(1830, 24 Aug) depart calgary. Very tired. Trying not to show it.
(2015, 24 Aug) land & say very quick bye's to Cara and Andrew. Quick hello to Cara's mom
(2020, 24 Aug) got a seat back to Calgary. Alone again.
(2025, 24 Aug) back row 2 pillows 1 blanket...
No sleep.. I notice the moon on final approach into Calgary. Mr Moon has been my companion the entire trip.
(2205, 24 Aug) on the ground in YYC
(2225, 24 Aug) picked up by Kathy
(2303, 24 Aug) home. Its been 64 hours since I left home... was that ever cool!
Monday, August 26, 2002
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam... If anyone figures this out there is a treat for them!
Tuesday, August 20, 2002
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.
I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.
Sunday, August 04, 2002
Friday, August 02, 2002
Note: You can buy a used airplane for about the same price as a new sports car.
Riddle: What's the main difference between the sports car and the airplane?
Answer: If you accelerate the sports car to about 75 miles per hour and pull back on the steering wheel, nothing very interesting happens.
Riddle: What's the main difference between the sports car and the airplane?
Answer: If you accelerate the sports car to about 75 miles per hour and pull back on the steering wheel, nothing very interesting happens.
Thursday, August 01, 2002
So, what happened on my trip?
Montreal : Had a blast. I didn't intend to drink that much. My apologies to the person who had to clean up my hotel bathroom. Special thanks to Keith and Trina for inviting me to their wedding! Also, discovered Kathy and I are mentioned in the 2000 Lonely Planet, Costa Rica! ( Look among the hundreds of other people in the acknowledgements section!)
Toronto : Had a very quiet time. Exactly what I needed. Dirty and Bob are PREGNANT! COOL! They have a great place. When they finally move in they will be loving it. ;) Thanks to Bob and Diana for understanding my hangover, and for taking such good care of me. ( The Goat Cheeze was great on the burger!)
Winnipeg : Cool.... Much to think about I do.
Saskatoon : Visited with family. Took my brothers 4X4 for a drive. Found a car that had 2 people having sex! 2 feet with white socks high in the air, and a big white ass working away. It was quite a sight. Then, we take the 4X4 to a mud puddle. Dale was convinced It would never get stuck. I got it stuck, no problem. :)
SCUBA : Very cool.... I can't wait until next week!
Montreal : Had a blast. I didn't intend to drink that much. My apologies to the person who had to clean up my hotel bathroom. Special thanks to Keith and Trina for inviting me to their wedding! Also, discovered Kathy and I are mentioned in the 2000 Lonely Planet, Costa Rica! ( Look among the hundreds of other people in the acknowledgements section!)
Toronto : Had a very quiet time. Exactly what I needed. Dirty and Bob are PREGNANT! COOL! They have a great place. When they finally move in they will be loving it. ;) Thanks to Bob and Diana for understanding my hangover, and for taking such good care of me. ( The Goat Cheeze was great on the burger!)
Winnipeg : Cool.... Much to think about I do.
Saskatoon : Visited with family. Took my brothers 4X4 for a drive. Found a car that had 2 people having sex! 2 feet with white socks high in the air, and a big white ass working away. It was quite a sight. Then, we take the 4X4 to a mud puddle. Dale was convinced It would never get stuck. I got it stuck, no problem. :)
SCUBA : Very cool.... I can't wait until next week!
Sunday, July 21, 2002
Every once in a while, I get really close to knowing who I am. Then something happens and I lose my place.
Should we stay or should we go now. I'm at work, I'm tired. I spent the night in the lunchroom. I worked 'til midnight, and I was back here at 0500. I'm only getting 65 hours next MONTH.. That sucks (Cara and Andrew: I might have time to pick up my clothes, but it will be the quickest trip yet.). Maybe I should do another RTW trip? Anyone want to tag along? We're going to Banff on wed, 'til friday morning. Saturday morning, I'm headed to Montreal for a wedding. That should be cool. I'll see lots of friends I havn't seen in a long time. Sunday, I'll either spend the day in Montreal (expensive), or head for Toronto, or Halifax, to stay sunday night with friends. (cheap) Attn Halifax and Toronto friends, you might get a call from me this week ;) Monday, I'll be headed for Winnipeg, to check out a flight school. More on that subject another day. Monday night, I think I'll stay in Saskatoon, to visit with my brother and his family. They had a well deserved suprise, and I want to help them celebrate a bit. Tuesday, I'll be home, Kathy and I start SCUBA lessons this day. Very COOL! Should we stay or should we go now.
This last month has been the month of house guests. It is so cool having our own place, in a cool city, so that people will come and visit us. At least they say they are visiting us, but we know it is really Calgary they are coming to visit. Everyone who was here was great! If my addition is correct, I count 11 guests in the last month. Hopefully we were able to show everyone a good time.
Found a great wine. It is a late harvest Kerner, by Grey Monk. Very good. If you can find the 1998, I think it is a little better than the 2000.
Should we stay or should we go now.... (Smith, what do you think...)
This last month has been the month of house guests. It is so cool having our own place, in a cool city, so that people will come and visit us. At least they say they are visiting us, but we know it is really Calgary they are coming to visit. Everyone who was here was great! If my addition is correct, I count 11 guests in the last month. Hopefully we were able to show everyone a good time.
Found a great wine. It is a late harvest Kerner, by Grey Monk. Very good. If you can find the 1998, I think it is a little better than the 2000.
Should we stay or should we go now.... (Smith, what do you think...)
Monday, July 08, 2002
Hugh Arscott is a local Saskatoon celebrity and a very funny old man. He was once a Rhinoceros Party candidate, and has a daily one-liner in the local paper. Today's quote:
If you don't come from Saskatchewan, you're not a REAL Albertan!
If you don't come from Saskatchewan, you're not a REAL Albertan!
Wow, the outlaws are in town. Hopefully we are going to Banff tomorrow! (remind me to check the weather for tomorrow.)
What a great weekend! Genius got married. Good ole poopy pants tied the knot. It was very cool, I felt very luck to be there. It was the smallest wedding I've ever been to. It was very intimate and friendly. What a good time. The only thing that sucked, is that while Kathy and I were "getting" their car while it was parked at the hotel, they showed up and caught us! We hid behind a van, but they still saw us. Oh well, that was the first time I've ever been caught... It was still a very cool day. Thanks Greg and Cathryn. :)
What a great weekend! Genius got married. Good ole poopy pants tied the knot. It was very cool, I felt very luck to be there. It was the smallest wedding I've ever been to. It was very intimate and friendly. What a good time. The only thing that sucked, is that while Kathy and I were "getting" their car while it was parked at the hotel, they showed up and caught us! We hid behind a van, but they still saw us. Oh well, that was the first time I've ever been caught... It was still a very cool day. Thanks Greg and Cathryn. :)
Thursday, July 04, 2002
Am I ever tired. I worked at 0515 this morning and I'll be here until 2110 tonite. (I did have a few hour break this afternoon, but sleeping in the car doesn't cut it.) I don't have much to say, not much I can talk about right now, there are too many things up in the air... One thing I am very excited about is that I am going to be volunteering at the Calgary Aerospace Museum as a tour guide! That should be very cool! Also, I've been offered the opportunity to fly a 1946 DeHaviland Chipmunk! That should be very very cool!
http://www.asmac.ab.ca/
http://www.asmac.ab.ca/
Thursday, June 27, 2002
Good morning! My ADSL is hooked up! I have an update ready to go on my computer as soon as I have time I will change some stuff. It has been a long time coming, so I'll make it worth while. I am at work right now. My new job rocks! Once I get to know everyone, it will be much cooler! I am getting hungry now, I think I'll go for a bite.
Thursday, June 20, 2002
I am BACK! My Telus Velocity ADSL was connected today! It all seems to be working well. I'm finished the laundry and I'm leaving the apartment for a bit, I'll write more later!
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." -Buckaroo Banzai
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." -Buckaroo Banzai
Friday, May 31, 2002
shaw cable sucks ass!!! I was right in the middle of uploading day 9 to my Hong Kong, when the guy came to disconnect. So day nine isn't complete, I'll fix that as soon as I get home, in a week and a half or so. Everybody repeat after me "shaw sucks,shaw sucks,shaw sucks,shaw sucks,shaw sucks,shaw sucks,shaw sucks"
So now that I don't have an internet connection, I for sure won't be doing any updates...
PEACE, DAMMIT!
So now that I don't have an internet connection, I for sure won't be doing any updates...
PEACE, DAMMIT!
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Server change..... I've finally had enough of shaw fucking me around... they are coming to disconnect tomorrow. I've moved things again, and I'm pretty sure they will be moving again in a little while.
On the upside, I've just renewed the evjen.ca domain for two years, which cost about $60 bucks. (don't tell Kathy)
I'm on holidays. I know I promised a bunch of things to get done this week, but I'm on holidays.
Summer is great.
On the upside, I've just renewed the evjen.ca domain for two years, which cost about $60 bucks. (don't tell Kathy)
I'm on holidays. I know I promised a bunch of things to get done this week, but I'm on holidays.
Summer is great.
Tuesday, May 28, 2002
Weird... check this out... www.colorgenics.com/intro.html
You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.
You are feeling very disillusioned at this time and you feel that you are being left out of things. You know - or you think you know - what you want, but you seem unable to exert the effort to achieve your objectives. As a consequence, you are feeling left out and neglected. You would like to be afforded greater security and fewer problems.
Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation butyou are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision.
Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.
The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension.
Anxiety and a restless antagonism, as a result of unfulfilled emotional needs, has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to overcome this by working and playing extremely hard - but at all times you have your future in mind. You are a worker and as a result of your inherent enthusiasm you cannot fail.
You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.
You are feeling very disillusioned at this time and you feel that you are being left out of things. You know - or you think you know - what you want, but you seem unable to exert the effort to achieve your objectives. As a consequence, you are feeling left out and neglected. You would like to be afforded greater security and fewer problems.
Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation butyou are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision.
Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.
The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension.
Anxiety and a restless antagonism, as a result of unfulfilled emotional needs, has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to overcome this by working and playing extremely hard - but at all times you have your future in mind. You are a worker and as a result of your inherent enthusiasm you cannot fail.
Monday, May 20, 2002
I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
---Benjamin Franklin
---Benjamin Franklin
Sunday, May 12, 2002
Well, we've arrived in Hong Kong. The webwsite is working, but I am having technical dificluties, but I'm working on that. All the pictures are there, but not all the thumbnail pictures, so don't be afraid to click on the link to see the picture. Hopefully tonight I'll have the troubles fixed!
Peace!
Peace!
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
I'm in Toronto now, soon I'll be in Saskaton, tonight I'll be in Calgary, by then I'll be tired. Right now Ive had wayyyy too much Coffee, I am literally shaking and I can barely type.
peas
peas
Monday, May 06, 2002
Sunday, May 05, 2002
Today I am in Whitehorse, in the Yukon! Mike, my old instructor is in town too. What a great place, today is very sunny, but a little cool. The folks at the airport here are great, they've given us the use of their truck for the night. Yeehaw, sunday night in Whitehorse, I'm sure we can find trouble if we look hard enough. Or maybe not.. :)
Friday, May 03, 2002
Here we go, the crazyness has begun. I am no longer a "hangar attendant", I am kinda in limbo between now and when I return to Saskatoon as a CSA. In the interim, I am very busy working for the training department again. I am so excited, this time I get to go to Whitehorse! I love this training job, there is just enough office time, to enjoy the office, and there is enough on the road time to enjoy being on the road, and not get sick of either one! I love it! Stay tuned to this spot, because I can write to this space easily from anywhere on the planet.... Whitehorse, Calgary, Saskatoon, Hong Kong....
Peace, Love, Chocolate!
Peace, Love, Chocolate!
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Pictures deleted due to space.
I was in Victoria yesterday, it was great. As soon as I walked off the plane, I could smell the flowers blooming. It was very cool.
The first picture is of Mount Baker in Washington.
The second picture is of a "straight tail" DC-3, I've never seen one like that before.
The third picture, is the bench I was sitting on while I was phoning people, if you click on the thumbnail, you will see an enlarged picture, and Mount Baker is in the background.
The fifth picture, is the little store where I bought some oysters, mmmm.
The last picture is sunset on the ramp in YYJ. I wish all my training excursions could be like this.
I was in Victoria yesterday, it was great. As soon as I walked off the plane, I could smell the flowers blooming. It was very cool.
The first picture is of Mount Baker in Washington.
The second picture is of a "straight tail" DC-3, I've never seen one like that before.
The third picture, is the bench I was sitting on while I was phoning people, if you click on the thumbnail, you will see an enlarged picture, and Mount Baker is in the background.
The fifth picture, is the little store where I bought some oysters, mmmm.
The last picture is sunset on the ramp in YYJ. I wish all my training excursions could be like this.
Saturday, April 27, 2002
I've deleted the pics of my cat.... She was slowing things down way too much..
Friday, April 26, 2002
Here is the news! I'm going back to work in Saskatoon. I'm not moving, I'm just going to commute there for work.
On other news, I am very excited to be going to Victoria on monday, to do some ramp training there. I havn't been to Victoria in a long time, hopefully it will be nicer weather than here. (it is snowing today)
Tuesday, I come back to Calgary.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I'll be working my job here in Calgary.
Saturday, I am going to Whitehorse, again to do some ramp training, it should be very cool! I'm not sure how long I'll be there, probably until Monday morning. Monday, I'll head for Saskatoon.
Tuesday, Wednesay and Thursday, I'll be working my old job in Saskatoon.
If everything goes right, Thursday night Greg and I will be leaving for Hong Kong. ( I was supposed to work on Friday, but I did a shift trade. Jason, you are a life saver! You ROCK! )
Hopefully, I'll be able to do some updates here between now and then.
Peace
On other news, I am very excited to be going to Victoria on monday, to do some ramp training there. I havn't been to Victoria in a long time, hopefully it will be nicer weather than here. (it is snowing today)
Tuesday, I come back to Calgary.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I'll be working my job here in Calgary.
Saturday, I am going to Whitehorse, again to do some ramp training, it should be very cool! I'm not sure how long I'll be there, probably until Monday morning. Monday, I'll head for Saskatoon.
Tuesday, Wednesay and Thursday, I'll be working my old job in Saskatoon.
If everything goes right, Thursday night Greg and I will be leaving for Hong Kong. ( I was supposed to work on Friday, but I did a shift trade. Jason, you are a life saver! You ROCK! )
Hopefully, I'll be able to do some updates here between now and then.
Peace
Monday, April 15, 2002
Friday, April 12, 2002
Different Economies.....
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your're bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimono' and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
FILIPINO VERSION OF A CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You roast them and have a fiesta.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your're bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimono' and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
FILIPINO VERSION OF A CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You roast them and have a fiesta.
So what is new with me? Well, lots actually. I'm going back to work in Saskatoon! I can't believe I'm doing it, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I think I'm more excited to work there than I was when I started with the company!
In other news, on the flying job front, things are looking up! I hope!! ( I don't want to say much now, I don't want to jinx anything. )
Other than that, Whitehorse here we come!
In other news, on the flying job front, things are looking up! I hope!! ( I don't want to say much now, I don't want to jinx anything. )
Other than that, Whitehorse here we come!
Thursday, April 04, 2002
Saturday, March 30, 2002
I thought I just wanted a paycheque, turns out I wanted a career.
Friday, March 29, 2002
Ok, here is my new improved opinion... sure to be non offensive, and full of happy happy thoughts.
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