I'm going to start a new sport... Marathon City Bagging... I left Calgary at 12:30 this morning, as in 0030. I went to Toronto. It is 10:30 now, and I'm home and I've been back in Calgary for an hour! Nine hours, YYC - YYZ - YYC. Not quite as grueling as the my Hong Kong, trip last month, but pretty retarted all the same.

The world is treating me bad... Misery.

STAR WARS TOP TEN SEXUALLY SLANTED LINES

10. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
9. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
8. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
7. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
6. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."


THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

10. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
9. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
8. "But now we must eat. Come, good food, come..."
7. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up.
Like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"


RETURN OF THE JEDI

13. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did?
He never expressed any unhappiness with my work." (C3PO)
12. "Hey point that thing someplace else." (Han)
11. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me
master. (Emperor)
10. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?" (Leia)
9. "I never knew I had it in me." (C3PO)
8. "Someone must've told them about my little manoeuver at the battle of
Tanaab." (Lando)
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it." (Luke)
6. "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hut, you'd
probably short circuit." (C3PO)
5. "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.
(Jarjerrod) with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
(Darth)
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping-- hold on. Grab it, almost.. you almost got
it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie. Chewie!" (Han)
with "A little higher, just a little higher." (Lando)
3. "Short help's better than no help at all." (Han)
2. "Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me-- now I owe you one." (Han)
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!" (Han)

Pickin' up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream
I wonder how the old folks are tonight
Her name was Ann and I'll be damned if I recall her face
She left me not knowin' what to do

Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you

Turnin' back the pages to the times I love best
I wonder if she'll ever do the same
Now the thing that I call livin' is just bein' satisfied
With knowin' I got no one left to blame

Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you

Searchin' through the fragments of my dream-shattered sleep
I wonder if the years have closed her mind
I guess it must be wanderlust or tryin' to get free
From the good old faithful feelin' we once knew

Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you
Let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, got ta see you my old flame
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The mornin' after blues from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, let me slip away
Slip away on you

SYLLABICATION: wan·der·lust
NOUN: A very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.
ETYMOLOGY: German : wandern, to wander (from Middle High German) + Lust, desire (from Middle High German, from Old High German; see las- in Appendix I).

I think I've posted this before, but I'll do it again. Keep in mind, I like hearing from friends. The people that send the "You are my friend" type emails, are cool. As much as I like getting a forwarded email that I know wasn't written by the person I got it from, if you want to let me know you are my friend just drop me a note and say "Hey!". I'm a guy, I don't need any more than that to know who my friends are. Peace. ( ATTN: Apple Dumpling Gang, I liked your last email, this wasnt' directed at you! )

THE BEST CHAIN LETTER EVER WRITTEN:

Hello, my name is Joe and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that
was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends", and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your
genitals.

Have a nice day.

It's been a week since my last confession. I would confess my sins, but what if I don't believe in sinning? Imagine there's no heaven, It's easy if you try, No hell below us, Above us only sky, Imagine all the people living for today... Imagine there's no countries, It isnt hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, No religion too, Imagine all the people living life in peace... Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all the people Sharing all the world... You may say Im a dreamer, but Im not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And the world will live as one.

It's still relavent today don't you think. I've been mad most of the time lately. I'm not sure why. I think I'm starting to wrinkle my face because of it. That just made it worse.

Well, I almost deleted a link from my links page. (something I've never done, I figure once it is there, it should stay until it goes dead) Why did I "alsmost" delete it? Because, it's 10 minutes to 4am, I'm tired and grumpy. This particular website, is run by two friends. Whom managed to neglect a fairly major part of their "History". Namely ME! Why should I do either them of the favor by advertising for them? I don't know. Cause they are friends. Maybe they just left me out, for appearances sake. After all, I left them, maybe they are pissed at me? Besides, they'll never read this anyway. I think that is enough whining for today.

EDITED TO COVER MY ASS.... I hope you got to read it before I removed it...

I just downloaded a great program. Ad-Aware by Lavasoft. It searched my entire computer and found a bunch of different "spyware" programs. After it helped me remove them, and a couple of reboots, my computer is running great again. There were at least 4 spyware programs running all the time! Talk about a waste of my time!

Ad-Aware by Lavasoft

Just be carefull what you clean, don't clean something you might want to keep!

How the hell did a Canadian band, Steppenwolf, and their hit song Born To Be Wild, become such a favorite song amongst american rednecks?

Hello FBI / CIA internet sniffers..

George ( dubbleya ) Bush, mind your own fucking business!

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

Why do some people think it is cool to be stupid?

Two Rules...

Speak your mind.

Watch your back.

I must be retarted. I went to bed last night at 3am, and got up an hour ago at 630 am, and now I don't feel like sleeping. The worst part of all the traveling is now, since I've been on the go so much, I can't figure out where I belong. Home doesn't feel right. Saskatoon, didn't feel right. Maybe I should just get drunk, that would feel right.

Since the 22nd of Aug, I've done a ton of flying. My quick calculation, I figure I've flown 31050 miles since then! That translates to about 60 hours in the air. It also means that I flew enough to encircle the globe 1 and a quarter times! ( The earth's circumfrence s 24,889 miles ) ( So far this year, I figure I've flown about 65000 miles which is 2.6 times around the globe ) ( I also have discovered, that my previous yearly best was estimated way to high. Or the method of calculation I am using this time is low. )

Of the 31050, 15303 was all in one day! ( That is over 1/2 way around the globe in 1 day! )

I'm tired.

Here was my routing... YYC - YXE - YVR - HKG - YVR - YEG - YYC - YQR - YYC - YXE - YYC - YVR - HKG - YVR - YXE - YYC !

I am home now, and don't plan to go anywhere for at least 2 weeks!

Cara and Andrew, did you find my letter yet? ( I wouldn't ask, but I am pretty sure you'll be mad at me when you do, so I've been expecting an email, but havn't gotten it! )

Holy cow it's been a long time since I've written... Since my last long day, I spent another day flying, I went from Calgary, to Vancouver, to pick up Debbie. That was fun. Our aircraft was broken, so we took a different aircraft. It was only about an hour delay, big whoop. Once in Saskatoon, I wen't to Mom and Dads to visit for a while, then I went back to the airport to pick up Cara and Andrew to take them to Calgary.
It was very cool having them in Calgary, we did some cool stuff, some cold stuff, and some other stuff. We spent Saturday night in Banff, camping. Andrew had never slept in a tent or been camping before, he handled it all very well, in typical Andrew style! ( always smiling )
The next couple of days were back in Calgary, enjoying the cool, autumnish weather.
Wed, we left Calgary for Vancouver, where Cara and Andrew went to visit family. I went swimming at Randy's. Then I drove Randy to work, and took his car. I had full intentions of doing a bit of shopping, but I went straight to Randy's, and fell asleep until it was time to pick him up. What a looser I am.
I met up with Cara and Andrew at the airport, so we could continue our trip to Hong Kong. They must have been tired, because they both slept a bunch on the way. ( I slept for about 9 hours.. pretty good )
So... it was this morning when we arrived in Hong Kong. I crashed for a couple of hours, then we went for Yum Cha with Andrews parents. It is soo cool, we go to the same restaraunt, and sit at the same table every time! I feel like a regular! We spent the afternoon in Mong Kok, buying stuff for everyones phones.. Sorry Curtis, no blue chrome. Sorry Kathy, no chrome. Sorry Kyle no dragons.
On the bus on the way home, the guy sitting accross from me, was wearing a huge watch. After I got up some courage, I said to him, "You must be a pilot.".... of course he was, only pilots wear watches that big. He seemed very nice, but we didn't get to talk much. Oh well.. it would have just depressed me more anyway. It was 2 years ago today, that I finished my commercial liscense. And here I am... 2 years later, no job. Cara tried to cheer me up, but I asked her to change the subject. I hope I wasn't rude.