Trooper, Santa Maria

With only fear and good judgement
Holding us back
We sailed out on the Northern Sea
With a boat load of crazy people
Including the shotgun and me

Does somebody know how to drive this thing
Yelled the captain as he fell to his knees
I think I mighta had a little too much today
Take me to my cabin, please

Cruisin' on a sardine boat
Loaded with crazy people
And we shall be the Santa Maria
Looking for a brave new world

The first mate shouted from the crow's nest
I think I might see land out there
Nobody moved
From where they were laying
Cause nobody really cared

Does somebody know how to drive this thing
Yelled the captain as he fell to his knees
I think I mighta had a little too much today
Take me to my cabin, please

The first mate shouted from the crow's nest
I think I might see land out there
But nobody moved
From where they were laying
Cause nobody really cared

Cruisin' on a sardine boat
Loaded with crazy people
And we shall be the Santa Maria
Looking for a brave new world

Cruisin' on a sardine boat
Loaded with crazy people
And we shall be the Santa Maria
Looking for a brave new world

Mosquito fogging not necessary in 'Peg: officials

WINNIPEG - When is a nuisance enough of a nuisance to warrant action? When it comes to mosquitos, the city of Winnipeg says, "not yet."

The city's insect control branch says the buzzing and biting of mosquitoes may be bugging you, but it's not bad enough to start fogging with malathion to kill them.

Insect control spokesman Ken Nowalsky says two things are required before fogging takes place: the number of mosquitos in test traps must reach a certain number, and the weather must co-operate.

"Before we can ever consider going into a nuisance mosquito control program for fogging, we have to have three consecutive nights of 25 or more female mosquitos [in the traps], so we can't even contemplate residential fogging until that set of goals has been achieved."

For the province of Manitoba, a fogging campaign is triggered by West Nile virus, not nuisance mosquitos.

"Right now we look at a number of factors, none of which are present at this time," says Dr. Susan Roberecki is Deputy Chief Medical Officer. "We haven't yet identified West Nile in Manitoba, and were hoping to do that, usually first with birds."

Ontario and Saskatchewan have reported birds infected with West Nile.

To protect yourself from mosquitos, officials suggest covering up exposed skin and wearing insect repellent that contains DEET.




I think Joni Mitchell said it best...


Hey farmer farmer
Put away that d.d.t. now
Give me spots on my apples
But leave me the birds and the bees
Please!
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
Till it’s gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

AZN - Got Rice?

It's the A.Z.N nigga fuck the rest. Dallas to New York jigga,

We're the best.

Veitnam, to Japan to Mongolia.

Phillipine, to Taiwan, To Cambodia. Korea ah..

ah.. home town China, who u got huh?.

U got shit nigga, feel the size, it's the A.Z.N better regonize.

Got Rice bitch?

Got Rice?

Got food, got soup, got spice?

Got brains like us? got skills like us? got cars, got clothes, got gurls
like us?.

Watz up?

We the shit and we'll kill ya'll fools.

We got money in the bank from our family jewels, can we help it if we rated
and curupt the Schools?

It don't matter, fuck the law, shit we'll break the rules.

We jack cars, Pop games, yo we got the tools.

Hoop it up , break it down then we shoot some pools.

Fuck with me, fuck with all bitch of us, don't think it's cool.

One on one fuck THAT it's three on one no duels!

Got Rice bitch?

Got Rice?

Anything u can show that is nice?

Got cash, got moves, got thoughts like us?

Fuck no hell you white, you'll never be like us.

Take off ur shoes before u enter please or crawl around on the floor with
ur fucken knees.

Don't mind the smell you'll get use to it.

Moth balls, Dried squid, and that buddha shit.

What the hell is that?

U think I don't see?

No forks in the house, Chopsticks only.

Have a taste don't be scared try the lemond tea.

U don't want?

Thats alright, try the fuck on me.

Got rice bitch?

Got Rice?

Got luck everytime u roll the dice?

Ur luck is bad unless ur run and hide, cuz we're thugz for life baby,
A.Z.N.! :)

After a long night of making love, a man notices a photo of another man  on the woman's nightstand by her bed. He begins to worry...  

 

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

 

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

 

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

 

"No, not at all,"  she says, nibbling away at his ears.

 

"Is it your dad or your brother?"  he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

 

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

 

Then he demands, "Well, who in the hell is he?"

 

"That's me before the surgery."

Advice from Kids

"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."

-Hannah, age 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."

-Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes."

-Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."

-Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

-Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."

-Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac."

- Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."

- Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."

-Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."

-Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."

-Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."

-Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."

-Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone."

-Alyesha, age 13


And my favorite... (this kid is going places...)

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

-Patrick, age 10

A Cow Story....

Is it just me or does anyone else find it absolutely amazing that the U.S. government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and determine exactly what that cow ate. They can also track her calves right to their stalls, and tell you what kind of feed they ate. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around in their country, including people that are trying to blow up important structures in the U.S. Seems like a good solution is to give every illegal alien a cow as soon as
they enter the country.

--
___________________________________________________________
Sign-up for Ads Free at Mail.com
http://promo.mail.com/adsfreejump.htm

Yo! This is cool!

I can post to my weblog via email now!  Expect more random thoughts from now on!  My network administrator at work has restricted access to blogger.com from work, so I have been unable to post as much as I would like to.  Ha Ha...  they can't keep me down!

 

 

Consequences


A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you're white"?;
"Don't even ask" she replies, "when I think back to that party...you're
lucky you don't bark!"

Here is an excerpt from an email we recieved this week... The names have been removed to protect the ignorant...



Being that I am going back to work on July 9th, I am looking for child care right now. Since I work wacky shifts and long hours, I am possibly looking at hiring a nanny (Filipino nanny). I was wondering if you know anything about this service or any member of your family knows anything. I'm stuck between hiring someone directly from the Philippines, or hiring someone who is already here. I work 6 on and 6 off and didn't really want someone living in my house on all my days off as well, so I was sort of looking for a week on, week off person. Do you know anything about this stuff? Let me know.
Thanks, XXXXX



Why not just say... "We think your entire race is comprised of nannys. We think you are all the same. We think less of your race than we think of our own. Your race makes great servants, we would like to own one"


Or am I over reacting?

August 15, 2000




Mike Guimond

I am writing this letter in regards to my misunderstood practical joke. I sincerely regret any troubles I have caused you. It was not meant to be malicious. It was intended to make people smile.

We have enjoyed a five year working relationship, and I hope we can continue to get along.


Brent Evjen

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will; not the world is full
of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The
slogan, 'Press on,' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human
race.
-Calvin Coolidge

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics,

these are some questions people the world over are asking!



These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.



Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?( UK)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.



Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.



Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .



Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So its true what they say about Swedes.



Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.



Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?



Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big

country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.

Come naked.



Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.



Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...oh forget it.

Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight

after the hippo races. Come naked.



Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.



Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.



Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.



Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.



Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's name.

It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking

close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you

help? (USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.



Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Wow this makes the fourth post today! I am the badger, I am the badger.

Do you associate sections of your life with particular songs? Shitty in the dumps songs.... Sunshiny things are looking better songs?

Jot me a quick email what your favorite "life" songs are?

Sometimes I feel like something is gone here
Something is wrong here, I don't belong here
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town
And I've lost what I found, it'll all turn around

-Uncle Kracker

Simplicity is a state of mind. - Charles Wagner

Y Tu Mama Tambien....