A bit of Shit history:
People use to think that shit was flat, but imaginative minds looked at their turds and said "Shit!. Its oblong!" So explorers went sailing looking for a quick route to get to the other side so as to trade shit with other countries. Norseman went looking for a place to shit and stopped on a big chunk of ice which they originally named "Steamy Brownland" but later changed it to Greenland for marketing purposes. European explorers were looking for a place to shit and ended up in the Caribbean islands. The islanders picked up their shit and smoked it. More and more people who did not like the shit where they were, ended up here, seeking a place to shit in freedom. The American natives said "How!" and the pilgrims squatted and said "Like this!" The Indian laughed at the pilgrim and ran away. The white man drew borders around their piles of shit and elected shitbaggers, who could talk and shit at the same time, to tell them how to shit. Soon, what was talk and what was shit became lost on everyone. Soon African peoples began to show up and were forced to make shit for the white toilet paper maker. There was a great shit war between brothers whose beliefs on how to make and control shit differed from each other. The northern shitters beat the crap out of the southern shitters and burned down their outhouses. The great leader from the north freed the Africans from forced shit. but they still lived in shit for many years because some thought their shit was genetically inferior. A lot of white people began to move west to mine for shit. The Indians said, "Shit" and the white man shit all over them. yada yada yada Then came the Reconstruction Era...a whole lot of shit went down. Too much shit for one roll of paper.
What is shit?
Allot of Americans prefer to shit as their forefathers did. Allot of us are decendants from hard working immigrants who brought their own shit and together we all made some really good shit. Some people are bringing in new shit and we can't even tell if its really shit or not. We prefer them to shit like us so as to fit in a little better. Some people are now throwing their shit at each other and its getting really nasty. Some people are sneaking in so they can shit for free. Some people get elected to office by offering shit to people who already have a lot of shit or to people that don't deserve any shit. Meanwhile, the shit workers continue to be shit on. Supposedly, the shit is suppose to be spread around somewhat. Others say that the shit is supposed to trickle down but by the time it gets to the bottom, it's sometimes too runny to be of any use. Our government takes too much out of the shit we earn and give it to people who are severely constipated or too lazy to shit for themselves. If you have too much shit, the government will take it from you. Some people are in shit because they stole shit from other peoples shit 401K savings. The government likes to regulate shit so that they can control its quality or price. The government pays some people not to shit. The government gives some people shit stamps to buy toilet paper but secretly buy cigarettes instead. Some people want everyone in the world to shit alike..this is called Globalshitation. Some people have nice toilets to shit in...others shit outside (or come over to your house and shit in their pants until you give them a toilet) Some people like to smoke shit and want it legalized. Some people get addicted to shit and will kill you for it. You can buy tickets to win a whole bunch of shit. Most every home as at least 2 or 3 boxes at home on which you can sit and watch nothing but shit..even digitized! "Reality Shitting" has become a popular thing on the shitbox. Contests to see who can eat the most goat shit are common. "Date Shitting" is another show where one sex picks out a partner based how lovely their shit is. "Meet the Shit" is a show where the parents of a spoiled shit would like to kick the shit out of the contestants. "American Shit" is contest to see who is the best shitter in the land. What we really learn is that most people really struggle to shit something worthwhile. Some people want to kill people in other lands because they don't like their shit but are apt to suffer a pre-emptive shit attack in the very near future. Some people like to chain theirselves to shit because their pile is in danger of drying up. Scientists are working on a way to clone shit...as if we don't already have enough. Some people drive shit that use to belong to someone else while other drive huge piles of shit that you have to use a ladder to jump into. Sometimes, popular singers will shit before many people at a championship football game..but everyone can tell they are only farting because their grunts are seriously out of sync. There is some terrible bad shits coming out of the radio. I like the classic shit best. More and more people are carrying around "cell toilets" so they can shit in the car or the grocery store aisle and show everyone how important their shit is. It is rumored that these "cell toilets" may cause colon cancer. If you bad mouth my pile of shit, I will sue you for outrageous amounts of shit. Under every pile of shit is a lawyer.
Now let us go and shit..where no man has shit before.

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